What We're Reading

Getting it Right with Teens by Madelyn Swift

This is one of the best books I read in my career because it has pretty much everything going for it. It’s short, 54 pages, the print is big, for bleary-eye, desperate parents, it’s funny and downright useful.  There are simple tips that make you a better parent hands down. Worth every penny. 

My recommendation: get this book immediately, because teens are a little like toddlers only they demand things like a car, a cell phone, and an apartment.  You can’t over-prepare for the ten-year onslaught.

Mindset by Dr. Carol S. Dweck

In 1999 when I started my work at MMS, positive psychology was just making a powerful presence in the world of psychology with Martin Seligman, the work of John and Julie Gottman, and of course, Carol Dweck who sought to understand why some students give up in the face of failure, while others thrive. Over the past three decades, her research has shown that the way students think about intelligence, (having a growth versus fixed mindset), affects their motivation and achievement in school.

This is a mandatory reading for all teaching faculty in our school, we impart these concepts to students, and the book, in my mind, is the most important contribution to the field of psychology of the past few decades.  

Dweck’s seminal book is about 250 pages, and for baby-boomers, seems to be a breezy weekend read, and well worth it; for younger generations, the criticism is that the whole field-changing concept could be reduced to ten pithy pages. But I say, long is convincing and the example stories are excellent. Go for it.

Ungifted: Intelligence Redefined by Scot Barry Kaufman

 A little about the author: Scott Barry Kaufman is the Scientific Director of the Imagination Institute in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. He completed his doctorate at Yale, his M. Phil. at the University of Cambridge under a Gates Cambridge Scholarship and his undergraduate degree at Carnegie Mellon University. He is a co-founder of The Creativity Post and writes the blog Beautiful Minds for Scientific American. Kaufman lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

I heard about this book on NPR (which BTW is where I hear about most books, news, and most things that are interesting or noteworthy nowadays). I listened to an interview with the author and I was just absolutely captivated by his study that spoke of  “underdogs” or kids who are labeled slow in primary school and how that can have a huge impact on their confidence to become something great or to even feel worthy of opportunities. I deeply relate to this label and the struggles of my childhood/education. So, child prodigies, the gifted and talented programs, perfect 2400s on the SAT tests… being “smart” was always something I thought you were just born with, and if certain subjects in school were desperately difficult, it felt like the world was conspiring to make me feel inadequate.

In Ungifted, cognitive psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman (who was relegated to special education as a child) sets out to show that the way we interpret traditional metrics of intelligence is misguided. Kaufman explores the latest research in genetics and neuroscience, as well as evolutionary, developmental, social, positive, and cognitive psychology, to challenge the conventional wisdom about the childhood predictors of adult success. He reveals that there are many paths to greatness, and argues for a more holistic approach to achievement that takes into account each young person's personal goals, individual psychology, and developmental trajectory. In so doing, he increases our appreciation for the intelligence and diverse strengths of prodigies, savants, and late bloomers (like myself), as well as those with dyslexia, autism, schizophrenia, and ADHD. Combining original research, anecdotes, and a singular compassion, Ungifted proves that anyone, even those without readily observable gifts at any single moment in time, can become great.I read this book for the first time during my senior year of high school in a class I can only call the most significant educational experience of my life. A co-taught combined English and History class that lasted for two straight periods, it was an endurance test of both material and depth where we would spend weeks, if not months, pondering Amanda Montell is a gorgeous, razor-sharp, American author, linguist, and writer. Author of “Cultish” and host of the podcast “Sounds Like a Cult”, Ms. Montell presents an assortment of personal stories and thoughts on how our minds work. She examines ‘magical thinking’, where people believe their thoughts can influence unrelated events. For example, someone might think they can get rich just by thinking positively, or they can avoid sickness by having good vibes.

I Sing the Body Electric by Ray Bradbury

There is no artist or writer that has had a greater impact on me than Ray Bradbury. Bradbury is often thought of as a science fiction author, since his work often deals with possible futures, but could be more accurately described as a writer who employs fantastic elements to provide new perspectives on the very real. I could easily write about any of his novels: his most famous work, Fahrenheit 451 is an eerily prescient commentary on immersive, and dehumanizing, media environments. My favorite novel, The Martian Chronicles, offers a heart-breaking eulogy of a lost, lamented Martian civilization. 

However, the way most people fall in love with Bradbury is through his short stories and so many of them have become part of the imaginative lexicon of our culture: who can forget the primeval, lonely sea leviathan wading out of the depths of the ocean to answer the call of a modern foghorn, or the time traveling big game hunter who changes the fate of man through incompetent hubris, or even the lonely pedestrian whose meditative walks attract the attention of authorities suspicious of contemplative reflection. 

The collection of his stories that captured my imagination most was always I Sing the Body Electric, whose title is an allusion to Walt Whitman’s poetry. I still vividly remember pulling the book from the shelf of the Beale Air Force Base Library and completely losing track of time - while I traveled through the infinite vistas of Bradbury’s imagination. I will never forget my mother’s voice calling me back from the shadowed stacks of the library, Bradbury’s book in hand, and feeling significantly changed from the journeys and adventures I had just experienced within its pages. I would tell you more about each of the stories it contains, but I don’t want to spoil any of the tales. 

Each story builds upon one another, weaving a tapestry of possible futures that is both entertaining and sobering. All of Bradbury’s tales are at once cautionary fables, evocative and inspirational adventures into radical possibility, and zen koan reflections on where the world is heading and where it has been. His writing reminds us of what humanity is capable of - and our responsibility for wielding our singular capacity to explore, shape, and create the worlds we exist within. I cannot recommend the journey enough…

Raising Mentally Strong Kids by Daniel G. Amen, MD & Charles Fay, PhD

I recently stumbled across a video where author Jay Shetty interviews Dr. Daniel G. Amen about a book he co-write with Dr. Charles Fay called Raising Mentally Strong Kids. I immediately bought the audiobook version. 

A few chapters in, I realized the book was absolute gold and purchased a hard copy. I told my husband he needed to read it as well because it was going to become our parenting handbook. This book combines the power of Neuroscience (Dr. Amen is the founder of Amen Clinics) with Love and Logic (Dr. Fay is the founder of the Love and Logic Institute) to grow confident, kind, responsible, and resilient children and young adults. 

I love this book because it is an accessible read broken up into digestible chunks with plenty of examples, visual aids, and actionable steps that parents can put into practice immediately. I love that these two experts combined all of their knowledge and prior work into one place to help parents raise their children in the best (and most effective) ways. 

Some of my favorite action items from the books include:

Relationships are everything! 

If you want to have a better relationship with your kids:

Spend 20 minutes a day with them doing something they want to do with no commands, questions, or directions. 

Point out the positive things your children do.

Be empathetic with their experiences. 

Value how they think.

ANTS

Ants are automatic negative thoughts and they can take over the brain. Your job is to be able to squash these negative influences. Amen & Fay talk through strategies on how to control and get rid of ants; these strategies are not only beneficial for our kids but also for adults managing their own thoughts and decisions.

Firm but kind is the best way to parent

Parents are children’s prefrontal cortex because kids have not developed them yet . Clear boundaries are essential. We want children to make mistakes and be able to deal with manageable consequences. 

Effective Goal Setting

The authors include a One Page Miracle (OPM) template for setting personal goals, goals for your children, and goals your children can set for themselves. There are many great examples of how to use the OMP - and it is written in a way that is usable and actionable. You’ll find yourself looking forward to asking the question: “Does it fit in the OPM?” 

Raising Mentally Strong Kids is a book I will revisit for years to come and I am excited to use it in both my personal and professional lives. 

Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy

I like how this book combines self-development and child development as a joint journey in which everyone grows (together).  It challenges us to rethink our worst reactions at the moment and find better ways to move forward in love and security.  It empowers all our relationships across the spectrum, including our approach to teaching.  I am often one to reflect on the books I read and my experiences in life.  This book offers ample opportunities for reflection, re-direction, and opportunities to change habits to be a better person for all in my life.  I believe that my insatiable appetite for learning has had benefits in all areas of my life (parenting, teaching, and friendships), and this book had my thoughts cranking.